Monday, March 1, 2010

Relationships: The One

Relationship Series...Click here to read the overview.


So we have made it to the very top of the list for loving relationships. This is when you and your beloved become one. Now I have already talked about "Why Marriage ?" in other posts so in this post I want to focus on the sexual side of marriage. It seems like the Bible is fairly silent as to what is to take place within the marriage. It tells us what NOT to do, but not real what we should do. In the new testament it basically just says to love and submit. Therefore I believe that even in Christian married circles the act of sex still seems a little un-spiritual. Even though...GOD INVENTED SEX FOR PLEASURE AS WELL AS PROCREATION!

So let go back to the Song of Solomon. Some say that this book is to be an allegory of God and the church in hopes to "spiritualize" the book. Look guys...this is a book about the courting, marriage and expression of two human people in love. This is a book that show the celebration of the two sexes becoming one in spirit and body. Intimate, sensual, passionate, steamy yet totally holy and ordained by God!

Husband to Bride
"A garden locked is my sister,my bride, A garden, a spring sealed up." SoS 4:12

Bride to Husband
"Make my garden breathe out fragrance...May my beloved come into his garden, And eat its choice fruits!" SoS 4:16b

Husband to Bride
"I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;...I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey. I have drunk my wine and my milk." SoS 5:1

God to the Couple
"Drink, yes drink deeply, O beloved ones." SoS 5:1b

Now if that is not God condoning the beauty and passion of sex between a man and wife; I don't know what is! Notice the secret garden. The garden of the woman is locked. The garden is then opened only for the husband. Then it is their secret garden to enjoy together. That is sexual intimacy. It is the responsibility of the couple to now tend to and protect the garden. The Hebrew word for garden is gan. It is from the root word ganan meaning defend. Think of Eden{which means 'pleasure' by the way} the couple allowed an intruder into the garden! That intruder, the devil, destroyed intimacy. To a degree he destroyed sexuality. They were now ashamed and laid bare. {I will be exploring this more in the next few posts.}

But what a wonderful redeeming God that brought us back to a rightful place of love and sexuality. He did not give up on love. He did not give up on sexuality. He did not say 'Well this whole thing kinda got screwed sure you only have sex to procreate." NO! If anything we as Christians should be doing it {no pun intended}the right way as testimony of the fulfillment God intended for sexuality!

It is interesting that the word for bride in the Hebrew is kallah. It is from the root word kalal meaning to be complete, to make perfect, to put a crown upon. The Hebrew word yada meaning to know was used to differentiate in the Bible sex with a spouse as opposed to someone else. Sex is a physical, intimate act of knowing one another, of experiencing one another, of completing on another. That is why this act is so special! That is why this act needs to be protected at all costs. That is why this act needs to be practiced regularly on the marriage bed! Becoming "one flesh" should not just be a metaphor.

'The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband."  1 Cor 7:3

This verse sounds a little sterile compared to the Song of Solomon. But none the less it is saying the same thing. The Greek word eunoia is in place of 'marital duty'. Eunoia means benevolence, beautiful knowledge or peaceable spirit. Still doesn't sound very passionate. So I have created my own acronym.

E-ecstasy, U-unity, N-nourishment, O-openness, I-integrity, A-ardour

This is really says what I believe God wants in marriages regarding sex. We need to remember to nourish each others garden both spiritually and physically. It is what God intended in the way of intimacy. So think of it in terms of glorifying the Lord. What better way to show the deep passion of love that God intended for us to share and be fulfilled by.


  1. Refreshing take on love, sex and passion within the context of marriage. i have gained some wise insight from your wise words XOXOX


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