Saturday, February 13, 2010

Bind Up the Broken

This is a post {in red}that I did a couple of months back. It has to do with things that have happened in our lives that inflict trauma and hurt. It tells us how to go about healing that wound. So since we have been talking about pre-marital sex I thought it would be good to read this in reference to the "trauma" that causes. So go ahead and read it...then I will add a few thoughts at the end.

What injury or trauma has your identity received? If you have one that comes to mind lets use an analogy and say that "that" particular trauma was your shot in the leg. Something in your emotional life that has injured you but didn't kill you. Are you with me?

So what was your initial trauma? It could have been physical abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse. It could be sexual encounters outside of marriage. You may have been neglected or rejected by someone. Maybe it was a divorce or death of a loved one. Or it could have been negative reinforcement "you're ugly", "you're stupid", "you're weird", "you're fat", "you're a loser". Ringing any bells? This is the initial attack of the enemy on your life...usual at a young age.

So now now you are lying on the floor, shot in the leg. You are still alive but bleeding fast. Now since the devil can't kill you he uses the freewill of other humans to inflict trauma. To bleed you to death over time. So when no one comes to your aid or you don't get up and try to find just sit there and bleed. This is where the anger, shame, low self esteem and unforgiveness set in. More time passes, more blood loss. You start to self destruct. You self medicate with pills, drugs and alcohol. You may start cutting yourself, starving yourself. Anything to speed up the march to death. You may even try just that...suicide. You don't secede. You are still just bleeding out.

Now anger is turning to bitterness, shame has become self loathing, unforgivness gives way to hatred. No one comes to save you, and you don't try to find help. You begin hating God. You begin hating everyone. Everyone has let you down. You may even become the abuser at this stage. Hurt others the way you were hurt. You try to take control of the perpetrator by becoming one. You tell yourself "I am in control now. No one can hurt me...I hurt YOU." All the while you are near death due to your blood loss, laying in your own puddle of blood.

The wound is now infected with anger, bitterness, shame, and self hatred. You don't have much life left in you. You have grown cold towards others, and your heart has hardened. No one has come to help you. Even if they did you would push them away. You have refused to ask for help...until now. One last or are left with only two choices. Cry out to God and LIVE or succumb and DIE. So, you cry out.

Instantly God applies a tourniquet of forgiveness. This bandage stops the bleeding and pulls you back from the clutches of death. You see this breaks the bonds of the enemy. When Jesus died on the cross He took the keys of death back from Satan. Now Jesus bleeds in your place. That is part of the message of the cross. Jesus taking our wounds upon Himself that we may be healed and have everlasting life! Awesome!

So in that instant bleeding from your wound is halted and the healing process ensues. God medicates you with forgiveness, grace and love. You in turn accept the medicine. You decide to put yourself in situations of healing. Renew your mind, body and spirit. Keeping your eyes on Jesus you immerse yourself in active rehabilitation of your trauma. Worship, prayer and the Word. Most importantly you realize that the healing process takes time. You must be patient and make the choice each day to keep that bandage on. Surround yourself with people that support you anywhere you can find them. DON'T ISOLATE! Satan loves to sneak back in at any opportunity and rip that bandage off. So make sure to keep the bandage on for the duration of the healing process. Don't be tempted to pick at the scab in self-pity and doubt. That will only induce bleeding and prolong the healing. It also hands control back to the enemy and takes your eyes off of our Great Physician God.

So when do you you know when it is OK to remove the bandage? Well your Physician God can help you with that. I think this is different for everyone and different according to how severe the trauma was to begin with. There is no doubt there will be a scar. I could be an emotional scar or even a physical one. Jesus had all power to be brought back from the dead, but he did not allow his scars to totally disappear. His scars tell the story of his triumph over death and the grave. So your scars don't tell of your death but of your new life. I believe one of the final stages of healing is using your scars for the glory of God. This can be by ministering to others in the same situations. Telling them your story, your testimony. It could be by being a good parent or spouse. Breaking the cycle of trauma in your family. Really anything that God is glorified through the choices of your new life in Him.

Don't forget to minister to yourself! Don't take on the spirit of the abused or the abuser. You are no longer that are a new creature in Christ. You have been healed. Let your life and actions reflect that healing. The enemy is always just around the corner waiting to shoot you in the leg again. So if for some reason you have a slip up or a new trauma ensues....DON'T let yourself bleed out. Ask God to get that bandage on right away. Don't give the enemy the pleasure of watching you bleed to death. Choose life!

Now in regards to what we have been discussing, repenting from "sexual sin" is really no different. The moment that you ask for forgiveness God is there. The sin is gone. The hard part is believing it yourself. Because of how much sex involves your whole being it is hard, at first, to imagine that you can be anything other than that person. But you can!

For me it was a process. I had to get into the Word {especially the epistles in the NT} daily and remind myself that God had forgiven me and had given me a new start. A second try. On top of that it was important for me to know that God was in the process of making me a new creature. Giving me a right identity and taking away the false on I had developed.

What was also key for me was removing myself from situations that my false identity was being fed. For me that was the party scene. Drugs and alcohol had numbed me so much that it was easy to commit all kinds of sins! So I had to stay away from situations that I knew would compromise the "new creature" that God was developing in me. This may or may not require cutting off a particular relationship.

Specifically I sat down one day and wrote the names of those I had had sexual encounters with. I prayed and asked forgiveness for each situation. Then I asked God to supernaturally remove the spirit connection I had with that person. Remember how we discussed that you have spiritual residue of anyone you have had sex with. That tie needs to be cut off in the spirit realm! After I prayed I burned the piece of paper. I am a very visual person, so it was helpful for me to see with my eyes what God was doing in the spirit. Which was the Holy Spirit sealing me off from those encounter by his fire. This is good to know so that when the devil tries to shame you you can say "No! I have been cut off from that situation by the power of the Holy Spirit! And I have been forgiven by God! You can no longer shame me or guilt trip me for it!" Speak that as many times a day as you need to and BELIEVE IT!

In all of this what is most important is to move in a forward motion. Doing things that will feed and nurture the "new creature" and starve the old person. But to do this you must tap into the power that only the Holy Spirit can give to overcome and be made new. Lots of prayer, lots of bible, lots of worship, lots of putting yourself in situations that the Spirit can minister to you.

It was helpful for me to stay out of any romantic relationship. To surround myself with people that supported my healing. To learn from the process. God is with you and he supports you. Thank him in advance for the change he will be faithful to complete in you. You are never "too far" beyond restoration as long as you are willing to be restored. I had to seek that restoration with great vigor and passion. I had to harness the energy that I had been using to destroy myself to now choose life and choose God. You have to give it your all.

"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder on things of the past. Behold I will do something NEW. Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Is 43:18-19

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