Cross Before The Crown

"Meanwhile the cross comes before the crown and tomorrow is a Monday morning. A cleft has opened in the pitiless walls of the world, and we are invited to follow our great Captain inside. The following Him is, of course, the essential point. That being so, it may be asked what practical use there is in the speculations which I have been indulging. I can think of at least one such use.

It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly temped to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you meet, if at all, only in a nightmare.

All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations---these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit---immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.

This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously--no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner--no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ /vere latitat/---the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."   C. S. Lewis--The Weight of Glory

Coming Down The Mountain

I love worship!  I am a horrible singer, I don't play an instrument but I love worship!  I haven't always been that way.  In fact for a long time I couldn't figure out what all the hub-bub was about.  I had been raised in a climate of great worship and loved dancing to the music as a kid.  But as a teen you would find me sitting in the back of the service, mouth closed and arms crossed.  Then one day about twelve years ago I was in a worship service in Lausanne, Switzerland. {This was during a year of re-dedication for me. I did a 6 month discipleship school and a 3 month biblical studies course} It was during my first couple weeks there my attitude for worship changed.  During this one particular meeting they had moved all the chairs to the back of the room so that people could dance and really let loose; you know like King David.  However I found a chair in the back and sat in it...so not ready to "let loose", you know like Michal{2 Sam 6:14-16}.

As I sat there I began to ask God why I was not able to worship like everyone else.  Everyone else was just going for it without a care about how they looked or sounded.  Total abandon.  Yet I so wanted to experience what they were experiencing.  Then God spoke very clear and very simple to me.  "I can only fill you to the capacity that you give Me.  I want all of you.  Are you ready to give all of you to get all of Me?"  I thought about that for a minute.  Thought about all the craziness I had been through in my teenage and young adult years.  I knew God was right{as usual}.  I knew I was holding back because of fear and that fear was the enemy keeping me from experiencing God they way I needed to.

So I stood up and began to worship.  First very quiet, hands at my side.  Then I closed my eyes and forgot about everyone around me.  The singing got louder, my arms stretched higher and tears began to flow.  I can't remember the song.  All I remember is that I got louder and louder and began to call out to God in total abandon and total desperation for Him to take ALL of me.  I remember my whole body feeling hot with the fire of God.  And then I dropped to the floor face down.  I couldn't move.  The Spirit of God was so heavy I couldn't even lift my head.  Oh and I was no longer speaking words that I could understand; my worship had turned to tongues.  That had never happened before!  I remember two of the leaders Darlene and Geeta coming over and beginning to pray for me.  Can't remember the actual prayers but I remember hearing "more" and "new" over and over again.